


fighting for my trust and you won't back down

by PJatO98



Category: Spider-Gwen (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Divergent, F/F, so dead peter parker, then its, up until the mj x gwen stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-09-29 17:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17208056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PJatO98/pseuds/PJatO98
Summary: How was she supposed to explain her unexplained band practice absences? Or why she bailed on the most important night of her best friend’s life? How could she possibly admit that she couldn’t keep promises?And when had Mary Jane Watson become her best friend?...Gwen ruined a lot of things.Of course she did.But she wasn't going to ruin this.





	1. i know i always come and go but it's out of my control

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! It's been a hot minute since I've written any fanfiction and it is gooood to be back. 
> 
> I went and saw Into the Spiderverse a couple times (obviously) and was inspired by (b)icon Gwen Stacy to write this. I set out wanting to right a cute, fluffy fic and somehow ended up with a bit of an angst fest, so oops I guess, but I still had a lot of fun writing it.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

* * *

 

“Dammit, Peter, snap out of it!” Gwen shouted from where she was perched on the wall above her friend, “It’s me!” She had pulled her mask off awhile ago, hoping that Peter would recognize her and stop his onslaught.

 

It hadn’t worked.

 

Peter had known that she was Spider-Woman, was the only one who knew, the only one she felt she could trust. He was her best friend and she liked having the support, though she should have known that he was too good to not want to help her. He had brought it up a few times in the past - how cool it would be if he could be “Spider-Man” and they could be crime fighting best friends, though he would laugh it off as a joke when Gwen would shoot him a disapproving look and tell him that she didn’t ask for the responsibility that was thrust upon her. Really, she just didn’t want someone she loved to be put in danger. She would never forgive herself if Peter got hurt because of her.

 

Little did she know.

* * *

 It was after school one day when Peter approached her at her locker, which wasn’t out of the ordinary. He was fidgeting excitedly, “Gwen!”

 

“Hey, Pete,” Gwen greeted. She quickly noted his excitement and raised an amused brow, “What’s gotten into you?” she asked.

 

He smiled, “I made a breakthrough on something I’ve been working on last night and it’s finally ready for a test run today, which I was hoping you’d like to help me with?”

 

Gwen closed her locker and spun the dial. She patted him on the shoulder, “Of course! Should we head to the lab?” He nodded as they started to make their way down the hallway. Both were distracted by a wave Mary Jane Watson threw their way accompanied by a blinding smile. Peter and Gwen returned it, a blush on the former’s cheeks. Gwen wouldn’t say they were really friends, though Mary Jane was friendly with the two of them. She liked to playfully flirt with Peter sometimes. Gwen was convinced it was mostly to see Peter get flustered, as she doubted she was being very serious about it. Mary Jane was playful about most things, something that Gwen was growing to appreciate.

 

“Have you seen the fliers Mary Jane’s been hanging around the school?” Peter asked Gwen with a nudge to get her attention.

 

“The band ones?” Gwen responded with a chuckle. Peter nodded,, “Yeah. I didn’t know she could sing.” It didn’t totally surprise her though. Mary Jane was good at everything, or at least she was confident enough to make it seem that way. Recently she had been hanging fliers around the school advertising the fact that she was starting a band and was still seeking- well, a band. She’d already taken up the position of lead singer herself and needed people to fill the rest of the positions, girls only. Mary Jane did stuff like this sometimes, Gwen noticed, when she put her mind to something she’d always see it through. It was honestly pretty impressive.

 

“You should join!” Peter said, breaking her out of her thoughts, “I mean, you play the drums, how fun would that be?”

 

Gwen laughed, “Oh, I don’t know about that, Pete. I’m not very good. And who knows if she’s even that serious about it,” she paused, not even buying her own excuse, “Besides, I’ve got a lot on my plate already.”

 

Peter shrugged, “I guess you’re right.”

 

“What is it that you’ve been working on,” Gwen asked, changing the subject.

 

Peter shook his head, “It’s a surprise! And you’re totally gonna love it!”

 

Gwen rolled her eyes in mock annoyance, “If you say so,” she told him as they made their way to the science lab.

* * *

 “Thank you for coming.”

 

Gwen was snapped out of her thoughts by the hand on her shoulder. She jumped when she felt it and was too tense to relax even when she concluded that it was her dad, who was glancing at her out of the corner of his worried eye. She ignored him and continued to look down at the carpeted floor of the funeral home. It was relatively quiet even though it was crowded, the only noises being low whispers and the occasional sniffle.

 

“Oh, Mary Jane, thank you for coming.” Gwen’s attention shot up to the front of the room as she heard that name. The red-head was in a tight embrace with May Parker as they stood to the right of Peter’s casket. It was closed. Mary Jane stepped back and her aunt took her place in May’s arms. Gwen watched as Mary Jane stood in front of Peter’s casket and bowed her head. After a few seconds she turned to make her way to a seat, her eyes scanning the room. She happened to notice Gwen watching her and she stopped in her tracks to give a small, sad wave. Gwen averted her eyes without returning the greeting.

 

The person in front of her stepped aside and May Parker zeroed in on her form, “Gwen,” she sounded breathless. Gwen had done her best to keep it together, but seeing May so tired and sad was too much. She felt her eyes well up with tears. This was the woman she hurt.

 

This was all her fault.

 

She took a small step forward and she felt her dad’s hand slip from her shoulder, “May, I’m so, so… sorry,” Gwen started, her voice cracking. May quickly enveloped her in an embrace. The older woman rubbed soothing circles into her back. Gwen felt the tears begin to roll down her cheeks and she kept on repeating, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… so sorry.”

 

May pulled away, solemnly shaking her head, “Oh, dear,” she started wiping Gwen’s tears away, “you don’t have to apologize.”

 

 _" I do,”_ Gwen wanted to tell her, _“It’s my fault._ I’m _the reason he’s dead. It’s all my fault.”_

 

Instead, she said nothing. May placed a gentle hand on her cheek, “Thank you for being such a good friend to him.”

 

All Gwen could do was nod, “O-of course,” she said, her voice catching in her throat. With one last squeeze of May’s hand, Gwen stepped to Peter’s casket. She couldn’t bring herself to look at the picture of him on display.

 

None of this felt real.

* * *

 “Ta-da!” Peter shouted a huge smile on his face as he presented a vile of green liquid.

 

Gwen visibly deflated, “What is it?” she asked slowly.

 

“Well,” Peter started, “ever since you told me you were Spider-Woman I wanted to be able to help you in some way. You shouldn’t have to do this all by yourself.”

 

“Pete, we-” Peter cut her off with a wave of his hand.

 

“I know,” he said, “but I can’t just sit on the sideline and do nothing anymore. So I’ve been doing research on animal D.N.A. and the perks of mixing it with human D.N.A., like the radioactive spider did for you. So,” he continued, tapping the vile, “through that I came across the enhancements lizard D.N.A. would give to the human body.”

 

Gwen furrowed her brow as she processed the information. She pointed to the vile in her friend’s hand, “Is that what that is? Lizard D.N.A.?”

 

Peter nodded, “Yep!” he reached across the table for a syringe. Gwen watched as he took the rubber lid off of the vile to pull the liquid into the syringe.

 

“Woah, woah,” Gwen placed a hand on his wrist, stopping him, “You’re not about to do what I think you are, Pete, no way.”

 

Peter, waved a hand, brushing of the situation, “It’s no problem. I’ll be your right hand man now… or sidekick? I don’t mind that I guess,” he assured her as he fussed with the syringe.

 

“Peter! You have no idea how you’re going to react to this! It could kill you!”

 

“It won’t,” he told her as began tying off his arm to be able find a vein, “I’ve done this before.”

 

Gwen stood up in a panic, “You _what?”_

 

“Well, yeah,” he started, “I tested it with smaller doses to see if any effect would take place. And it did! Small stuff at least… like self healing. That was pretty cool, but it was never enough to do anything permanent. It probably won’t ever be, which is why I’ll have to keep injecting it if I want to keep it up,” he rambled. He tapped the syringe to release the bubbles, “I’m gonna be just like you Gwendy- well, not _just_ like you, since you’re a spider and I’ll be a lizard, but you know what I mean. How cool is that?”

 

Gwen was too in shock to stop him from injecting himself with the green fluid. He grunted as he emptied the syringe into his arm. When it was empty, he shuddered and dropped the syringe which shattered on the tile floor. Gwen slowly placed a hand on his shoulder, “Pete?” she slowly spoke, trying to get his attention.

 

“Woah,” Peter breathed out, clenching his hand. He looked up at Gwen, though his gaze was unfocused. He squinted at her for a few seconds before taking his round glasses off his nose. He slowly looked around the room, before his eyes fell back on Gwen, then back down at his glasses, “Woah!” he suddenly shouted, shooting out of his seat, “I can see!”

 

“You can?”

 

Peter excitedly nodded, “It’s totally working!” he grabbed Gwen’s hands and danced the two of them around the science lab. Gwen couldn’t help but smile at him,, “We’re going to be teammates now,” he gestured with one of his hands, “The Amazing Spider-Gwen and her awesome sidekick: The Lizard!”

 

Gwen raised an eyebrow, “The Lizard, huh? That’s an interesting team-up. I’m pretty sure lizards eat spiders,” she laughed and pulled her friend into a hug, “I’m just glad you’re okay,” she told him, “You had me worried there for a second, Petey.”

 

He returned the hug, “You’ve got nothing to worry about, Gwendy, I promise.”

* * *

May insisted Gwen sit next to her in the front row during the funeral. Gwen didn’t want to turn the offer down, so there she sat, head bowed feeling the eyes of a certain redhead on her. She sat to May’s left, her dad on May’s right, a comforting arm around the woman’s shoulder. May did well at keeping her emotions at bay.

 

Gwen drowned out most of the ceremony, replaying the night Peter died over and over again in her head. What she could have done differently: Maybe if she had been stronger, more understanding of her own abilities. Maybe if she had just stopped him from injecting the lizard D.N.A. in the first place. Maybe if she hadn’t made Peter feel as if he needed to prove something in wanting to help her take on the responsibility of protecting the city. Maybe if she hadn’t told Peter she was Spider-Woman in the first place.

 

Maybe if she hadn’t become Spider-Woman.

 

Maybe if...

 

At some point May stood up to say a few words. She carried a tissue close to her chest, “My nephew was the light of my life,” she started, “He had been through so much, losing his parents and then my husband, but he never seemed to let the loss get to him, at least, not in front of me. He was so good… so bright. From the beginning, Ben and I knew he was so, so smart- like his parents. He was going to do amazing things.” May stopped to take a shaky breath, “I don’t really know how he was in school, but he brought out quite a crowd this morning,” she laughed and gave a grateful smile. Her eyes met Gwen’s and the younger girl couldn’t take being there anymore. She felt sick. She couldn’t breath. Gwen stood from her chair and quickly walked out of the room, ignoring all of the eyes on her.

 

The lobby was too out in the open, not quite far enough away from the crowd, so she beelined to the bathroom.

 

It was a single stall, which she was thankful for. She locked the door and backed herself against it, hugging herself as she slid down the door, not caring that the floor was probably filthy. She didn’t cry though. She didn’t feel much of anything.

 

Emptiness.

 

Gwen’s best friend was dead and it was her fault; she didn’t deserve to cry over him. She didn’t think she deserved much of anything anymore.

 

They were “officially” calling it an overdose, which wasn’t necessarily wrong Gwen supposed, though the police were after Spider-Woman, blaming her for his murder. Which also wasn’t wrong. May requested a closed casket when it was clear that some of the scales weren’t going to disappear from his body, even after the lizard chemical wore off. May knew the truth. Gwen, as Spider-Woman, had taken Peter to May’s house after their fight, after he had _died._  She apologized and left, watching from afar as May collapsed onto her front lawn, a motionless Peter in her arms.

 

There was a soft knock on the door. Gwen cursed under her breath and stood up, “Just a second!” she called out, voice shaky as she dusted off the back of her dress and composed herself.

 

“Gwen.”

 

Gwen stopped her movement, surprised to hear that voice from the other side of the door. Rather than open the door, Gwen instead turned back around to lean against the door while Mary Jane continued, “Sorry, I- I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” she spoke through the door softly, “You rushed out of there… I was worried is all…” she trailed off, unsure, “Maybe I shouldn’t have bothered you, I’m sorry.”

 

“No!” Gwen called out, surprised by her own voice, “I mean… thank you. For checking on me. I’m fine, it’s just… hard.”

 

The door handle slowly turned as Mary Jane tried to open it. The lock stopped it, so Gwen opened the door herself. She slowly pulled it open to come face to face with her sort of friend, who stood there with a small smile. Mary Jane shifted, uncertain. She dropped her arms from where they were loosely crossed and took a step towards Gwen. Understanding the gesture, Gwen stepped into Mary Jane, who quickly held her in a loose, but comforting hug. Gwen was too tired to lift her arms to return it, but she did bury her head into the other girl’s shoulder.

 

Mary Jane understood.

* * *

The lizard D.N.A. worked for awhile.

 

Gwen and Peter had a few successful nights patrolling the streets of the city, nothing too serious ever happened which Gwen was grateful for. Peter was still getting the hang of his abilities and while Gwen wasn’t really okay with his situation, it was nice to see him so excited.

 

It was probably only a week in when the first sign that something was wrong occurred. The two of them had just finished up stopping a mugging and were on their way back home for the night. They had school in the morning after all. The two were on their way to Peter’s house, there being where they regrouped for the night before Gwen would take off to her own home.  

 

They were still in the city, perched on a rooftop when Peter suddenly turned to her, eyes slits, “Peter?” she questioned slowly. His response was a low growl and before she could worry over him further he cocked an arm back and punched her in the gut. The force was enough to knock her a few feet away and damn did it hurt thanks to Peter’s new found superhuman strength. She stood up, winded, and watched as Peter’s eyes widened as he realized what he had done.

 

His eyes were back to normal.

 

“Gwendy…” he deflated and he looked down at himself, scanning his hands and arms, “Wha-?” he looked back up at his friend, “I hurt you.”

 

“What’s going on, Peter?” Gwen asked him, pulling off her Spider-Woman mask. She was clenching her stomach as she approached him, wary.

 

He looked sad, “I don’t know. I maybe used too much today… or it’s a side effect of using it for the couple weeks I have been. I don’t know,” he repeated, his arms suddenly shooting up to wrap around himself, protectively, “I don’t know…” Peter trailed off, lowering himself to the ground.

 

Gwen kneeled down in front of him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Pete, it’s okay. I’m fine,” she dropped down to her knees in front of him, “but maybe you should lay off of the injections, okay? You lost yourself there for a second… it scared me.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Peter said looking up at her from where he was staring down at his hands, his eyes beginning to water, “I’m so sorry.”

 

Gwen pulled her friend into a tight hug, silence falling between the two of them.

* * *

“Well here it is,” Mary Jane said, motioning to her bedroom, “S’nothing special.”

 

Gwen wasn’t sure why, but she had accepted Mary Jane’s invite to go back to her house after Peter’s funeral. After Gwen had composed herself in Mary Jane’s arms, she wasn’t sure how she would fair in the crowd of friends and family anymore, especially because she was the reason they were grieving. When she voiced her concern to the other girl, Mary Jane made her offer and she and Gwen had gone back into the funeral room to say goodbye to May and  for Gwen to tell her father she would be going over to Mary Jane’s house.

 

Gwen walked into the bedroom after getting over the initial discomfort of being in an unfamiliar setting. Gwen glanced around Mary Jane’s bedroom, which was... tamer than Gwen was expecting. The walls were a pale forest green and there were a couple posters hung up on the wall, most of them being posters of a punk band that Gwen wasn’t super familiar with. Maybe Mary Jane’s band idea was more serious then Gwen originally thought. Her bed wasn’t made, but it still somehow looked neat. There was a desk in the corner of the room that had an open book on it as if she had been doing schoolwork before the funeral. Gwen gave her a grateful smile, “No, it’s perfect. Thank you, Mary Jane.”

 

Mary Jane shook her head with a smile, pushing past Gwen to sit on her bed, “Uh-uh,” she said, a finger waving, “My friends call me Em Jay.”

 

Gwen couldn’t help the blush. Mary Jane definitely noticed it, “Right. Sorry.”

 

“You don’t have to apologize, Gwen,” the redhead said, moving over and motioning for Gwen to join her. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Gwen sat still on the edge of the bed not totally comfortable with her situation while Mary Jane sat in a similar position, though she was leaning back on her arms more relaxed. Gwen could feel Mary Jane’s eyes on her and she shifted uncomfortably. The two of them didn’t talk much, other than exchanging quick pleasantries. Peter was more friendly with Mary Jane while Gwen watched from the sidelines. Gwen wasn’t sure how she felt about Peter’s death being the thing that brought the two of them together.

 

“I’m really sorry about Peter,” Mary Jane said softly.

 

Gwen’s mouth felt dry. She nodded in acknowledgement.

 

Mary Jane continued, “I had no idea he- did you?”

 

Gwen sighed and laid back on Mary Jane’s bed, her feet still touching the ground. She stayed silent. Mary Jane was patient with her and didn’t seem to mind when Gwen changed the subject when caught one of the band posters out of the corner of her eye, “What’s this I see about you wanting to start a band?” she asked as playfully as she could.

 

Mary Jane smiled back, her face relaxing from its previous worry, “You interested?”

 

Gwen shrugged, “I play drums.”

 

“No way!” Mary Jane said, “Since when?”

 

“Since forever, I guess. Or at least since my mom died,” Gwen finished softly, “I was an angry kid and my dad thought it would help. It was good idea at the time… I don’t use them very much anymore,” she finished with a chuckle, turning over onto her side, an arm under her head. She didn’t want to have to answer any questions about her mom. Not after today.

Mary Jane seemed to take the hint. She leaned back and turned to face her friend, holding her head up with her hand, almost mirroring Gwen, a playful smile on her face, “Well, Gwendolyne, it looks like I’ve found myself a drummer.”  

* * *

Spider-Woman and The Lizard hadn’t worked together in the two weeks since the incident on the roof. Peter had stopped the lizard injections, which Gwen was beyond grateful for. He seemed pretty bummed out about the situation, but Gwen did her best to let him know he helped her out enough just as Peter. She thought he was slowly starting to get over it.

 

Gwen couldn’t have been more wrong.

 

The two of them were walking side by side in the hall, making their way to their next class after just having made stops at each of their lockers. Peter did his best to avoid eye contact with Flash Thompson as they passed by him and his friends. But, per usual, it didn’t do much to stop the latter from marching up to the two of them to make a lame verbal jab and push Peter into the row of lockers, ignoring Mary Jane’s annoyed insistence for him to stop.

 

Flash liked to stick around to watch Gwen fuss over Peter so he could make some more fun of the two of them before his other burly friends would eventually pull him away to direct him to class.

 

This time however Peter beat them to it, roughly pushing past Flash, the force hard enough to make Flash stumble back. Peter didn’t look back and Gwen and most of the other students in the hallway watched him go as he stomped down the hall, the opposite direction of their destination. Gwen tried to call after him, but had no such luck. She caught Mary Jane’s eyes in the crowd, confusion written on the redhead’s face.

 

The commotion didn’t last long. The tardy bell rang, causing all of the student’s to scatter into their respective classrooms. Gwen stayed put, watching as everyone went, before turning and following into the direction Peter had gone. She figured the only place he’d think he would be alone in during class time was the bathroom.

 

Gwen pushed open the door to the boys bathroom and there stood Peter leaning against one of the sinks out of the many in the row, “Pete!” she called out. He didn’t look up, but she continued, “Hey, Flash is a total dick, but you totally got the last word in this time,” she laughed as she approached him.

 

As she got closer, she began to notice how wrong the situation was: Peter’s left arm was propped onto the bathroom sink. There were two empty vials in the sink, a syringe held loosely in his limp right hand at his side. Gwen’s heart dropped, “Peter,” she said darkly, “you didn’t. You promised.”

 

Peter’s right arm twitch and he dropped the syringe. Gwen watched as it shattered on the tile floor. His voice was gravely when he spoke, “I just can’t take it anymore... I’m so tired, Gwendy.” He finally turned to her, his eyes sad, before he blinked his tears away and suddenly they were reptilian again. Gwen crouched down in a ready stance. She’d be prepared this time if he lost control. But before he could move any closer to her, Peter’s right arm convulsed again and he roared in pain as it suddenly burst through his shirt sleeve covered in green scales. It happened to his left side shortly thereafter and continued throughout his whole body until he was completely transformed into a muscly, oversized lizard. Gwen could only watch in horror and she was caught off guard, causing Peter to pick her up and throw her into a bathroom stall, moving her out of the way of the exit before rushing out of the bathroom.

 

“Oh, that’s not good,” Gwen muttered to herself, pushing herself off the floor and using the privacy of the stall to her advantage to change into her costume. It didn’t take long for her to hear panicked screams ring out throughout the halls. She pulled her mask on and ran out into the hallway which happened to be utter chaos as students ran down the the hall, bumping into each other as The Lizard ripped lockers off their hinges and made his way deeper into the school. If the students noticed Spider-Woman in their school, they were too preoccupied to say anything.

 

Gwen shot out a web to the other end of the hall, pursuing him fast. As she gained on him she realized the weight of the situation when it was Flash Thompson that Peter had held tightly in his claws.

* * *

It was quite a few weeks after the funeral when Mary Jane held the first band practice. Gwen had almost forgotten that she even agreed to join, until Mary Jane was helping her transport her drums into the garage of her Aunt’s house. Gwen felt uneasy about having band practice next door her dead best friend’s house, which she was sure Mary Jane picked up on. Gwen was sitting behind her drumset now in the corner of the garage, fidgeting with a drumstick, while Mary Jane stood leaning against the wall and checking her phone. She was buzzing with nervous excitement. Gwen thought it was cute.

 

“Knock, knock!”

 

Mary Jane kicked off the wall and slid her phone into her back pocket. Her arms were spread wide in greeting as two girls walked into the garage, a smile on her face, “Glory! Betty! Thanks for coming!” she pulled the two of them into a hug.

 

“You really didn’t give us much of a choice,” Glory said. Mary Jane waved her off and laughed.

 

Gwen had seen the two of them around school before: Glory Grant was friends with people like Liz Allen and Flash Thompson and Betty Brant worked for the school paper. As far as Gwen could tell Betty was a bit of a loner, but it didn’t surprise her that Mary Jane was friendly with the two of them. Mary Jane was friends with everyone.

 

Gwen noticed the cases the two newcomers were carrying, Their instruments. Betty had a guitar case while Glory was carrying a keyboard in one had, the stand in her other.

 

Mary Jane turned to Gwen, a wide smile on her face. The other girls turned to her as well, Glory’s eyebrows were raised. Gwen waved, the drumstick still in her hand, “Hey.”

 

Betty nodded, “Hi.”

 

“Gwen Stacy,” Glory stated. What seemed to be shock quickly melted into a smirk, She seemed impressed as she gave Gwen and her drumset a onceover, “Badass.”

 

“Right?” Mary Jane agreed. She clapped her hands, “Now that we’re all here…” she put her hands on her hips, “This officially marks the first band practice of The Mary Janes!”

 

Betty looked between Glory and Gwen, pointing in Mary Jane’s direction, “She didn’t,” she deadpanned.

 

Gwen shook her head in disbelief, though there was a smile on her face, “Of course she did.”

* * *

Fighting Lizard Peter in the halls of Midtown High was never something Gwen imagined she would be doing. Ever.

 

Story of her life.

 

Most of the students had fled the building but Gwen didn’t want to risk anyone finding out that the Lizard was Peter or that she was Spider-Woman, so once she was sure Peter was set on attacking her she took their fight elsewhere.

 

Gwen tried her best to talk him out of it. Bringing up memories the two had shared. How they were best friends. Explained the lizard D.N.A. She pulled her mask off, hoping that the recognition would somehow snap him out of it. It didn’t. Nothing did.

 

And then suddenly it was too late.

 

Gwen knew that Peter didn’t want to hurt her and she didn’t want to hurt him either, but she had to slow him down. At some point she sent a kick to his head. She was so frustrated. The blow knocked him out after he roared in pain.

 

And then he was Peter again.

 

Gwen was so happy at first. So happy that she didn’t notice his lack of pulse.

 

Once she did she sobbed into his tattered clothes.

* * *

It was months after Peter’s death when The Mary Janes had somehow landed themselves a concert. It was local, nothing crazy. But it was still a big deal for them and Gwen had never seen Em Jay so excited.

 

They were in Em Jay’s room laying on her bed much like they had the day of Peter’s funeral. It had become a normal occurrence for the two of them. Except this time Em Jay was scolding Gwen for her recent absences at band practice, “I just don’t understand, Gwen. Do you know how important this is to us? To me? This is our big break!”

 

Gwen sighed, flipping over onto her back after having been on her stomach while she worked on homework. Mary Jane was sitting up at the head of the bed. Gwen laid down next to her. Gwen tried her best to ignore her friend’s furrowed brow, “I know. I’m sorry.”

 

“If something’s going on at home or with you… whatever it is you can talk to me,” Mary Jane told her.

 

 _“I really can’t,”_ Gwen thought. The police were still on Spider-Woman’s trail for Peter’s murder and it wasn’t easy hiding her identity from her father after he was put in charge of Peter’s case. On top of that the police had leaked the fact that they believed Peter’s death was a homicide and that they were sure Spider-Woman was guilty to the media, painting her as a criminal in the public’s opinion. But Gwen couldn’t tell Em Jay any of that, “I’m fine. I’m sorry if I worried you.”

 

Mary Jane’s eyes softened, “Well of course I worry. Ever since Peter…” she trailed off, sending an apologetic smile her friend’s way. She slid down the pillows until she was laying flat, “I mean, there’s a vigilante out there killing people. She killed one of _our_ friends. I don’t want anything like that to happen to you.”

 

Gwen shook her head, “You really believe that stuff about Spider-Woman?” she asked timidly.

 

“You don’t?” Mary Jane shot back quickly.

 

Gwen shrugged. She didn’t want to fight again. Em Jay dropped it after studying Gwen’s face for a few seconds. She’d always been able to read Gwen.

 

They laid there in silence for a moment before Gwen turned to Mary Jane, “I’ll be there. At the concert,” she told her. Mary Jane seemed skeptical. Gwen didn’t blame her, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 

 _“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,”_ she scolded herself.

 

Em Jay smiled, a playful tone to her voice, “You better not, Gwendolyne. Betty might sick Murderface on you if you do.”

 

Gwen laughed.

* * *

Gwen missed the concert. Of course she did.

 

She had a good reason. But she couldn’t tell Em Jay that. How was she supposed to tell her friend she was on her way but she got a little sidetracked when she luckily stopped her dad from getting killed except then _he_ cornered _her_ at gunpoint because _apparently_ she’s a wanted criminal and he’s a police officer and he wouldn’t be reasoned with until Spider-Woman revealed herself as his daughter.

 

Gwen didn’t stick around to chat.

 

She couldn’t go home after the fact. Obviously. So instead she found herself slinking into the concert venue as the crowd began to filter out. Gwen maneuvered her way backstage, almost hoping that the girls had already left, not wanting to have to face them. Face Em Jay’s disappointment.

Well luck was not on her side. Because all three of the girls were there. Betty and Glory were sharing the single leather couch. Em Jay was pacing back in forth in front of them, her arms crossed tightly. Glory watched her as she went, an arm perched on the arm of the couch, her hand holding her head up. Betty was slouched in the couch, pushed against the opposite end, her arms also crossed.

Betty saw Gwen first. She suddenly sat at attention, which caused Glory to look at her in confusion. Her eyes eventually landing on Gwen, her lips pursed. It didn’t take long after that for Em Jay to notice her.

 

Gwen was sure Em Jay would yell at her. It wouldn’t be the first time it had happened. She was prepared for that.

Gwen was not prepared for Em Jay to stand there absolutely silent, disappointment and anger written all over her face. Gwen didn’t think it would be wise to try and explain herself, but her silence must have made Mary Jane angrier because she suddenly shook her head and stormed off. It wasn’t until she pushed past her did Gwen realize that Mary Jane was crying.

 

After watching her go and feeling helpless, Gwen turned to the other two girls, “I’m so-,” she started to apologize, though Glory was quick to cut her off as she held a hand up.

 

“Save it, Gwen,” Glory snapped rushing off not far behind Mary Jane. Gwen turned to Betty, hoping for… something. She wasn’t far behind the rest of her bandmates, but she made sure to shoot Gwen a murderous glare before following the others.

With a glance over her shoulder Gwen watched as Betty packed their instruments and Glory stood by Mary Jane, trying her best to comfort the girl, before Mary Jane walked out of the front door of the now empty club, leaving Glory and Betty on the stage.

 

Gwen stood motionless backstage at the most important concert of her friends’ career. A concert in which she didn’t show up to. A concert in which she ruined.

 

Because of course she did.

* * *

 

Mary Jane was driving Gwen crazy.

 

Well, more like… the lack of Mary Jane was driving her crazy.

 

It had been at least two weeks since the concert ordeal and it was easier for Mary Jane to avoid her since the they weren't in school anymore. Obviously Gwen had to be the one to apologize, she was just trying to figure out how. How was she supposed to explain her unexplained band practice absences? Or why she bailed on the most important night of her best friend’s life? How could she admit that she couldn’t keep promises?

 

And when had Mary Jane Watson become her best friend?

 

 _“You could just tell her,”_ a part of her thought and a part of her agreed _, “Sure… except you’re a wanted killer.”_ Sometimes Gwen forgot that very important factor.

 

Not only was she receiving the cold shoulder from Em Jay, she was also getting from her dad, who was still processing the fact that his daughter was the NYPD’s most wanted criminal. She hadn’t had the chance to explain herself yet, but letting _someone_ in on her secret took a weight off of her shoulder.

 

Like Peter had.

 

Without the band or her dad to worry about Gwen decided to go about most of her day as Spider-Woman. There wasn’t much else for her to do and she really needed that freeness she felt as Spider-Woman to clear her head. And with school out of the way she could focus her time on taking down Wilson Fisk  after she found out that’s who went after her dad, but she needed more information.

 

That’s exactly what Gwen was doing the night it happened.

 

Patrolling the streets. Doing her best to forget the Peter situation. And the Em Jay situation. And her dad situation…

 

Okay, she had a lot of situations, but she wasn’t going to let that be what distracted her from doing her job.

 

Except that’s exactly what she let distract her from doing her job.

 

Gwen had heard through the grapevine that Kingpin had hired someone else who had hired someone else, aka an assassin, to kill her father. She hadn’t had the chance to question the assassin, having had run off after sharing her secret identity with her father.

 

Not her proudest moment.

 

So there she was, fighting some of Fisk’s thugs after collecting some information from them. And boy was fighting thugs a stress reliever and believe or not she needed it.

 

Gwen had the upper-hand of course and she didn’t even have to try that hard, but it wasn’t long into the fight when Gwen jumped up and attached to a wall to dodge one of their attacks when her arm was suddenly pulled into the building. She gasped and pulled back trying her best to both study the hole and stay alert to the fight, though the invisible pull of the weird portal hole was too strong for her to resist and she let go.

 

The next bit was kind of a blur until it felt like her body was ripping itself apart.

 

That was unpleasant.

 

And landing Time Square was equally unpleasant, until she realized it wasn’t quite her Time Square...

 

How was she supposed to explain this?

 


	2. fighting for my trust and you won't back down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen returns to Earth-65 after the events of the Spiderverse and has to deal with the repercussions of her disappearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hi remember when I said the second chapter would be up a week after the first? Well here we are nearly two months later... sorry about that.
> 
> My awful time management aside, I hope you guys enjoy!

The only thing Gwen wanted to do after returning back to her Earth was sleep. So that’s exactly what she did. Though at some point early the next morning it was interrupted by her father barging into her room.

“Gwen!” he barked. She turned over from where she was face down, groggy from the events of the past couple of days, “Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick!” his voice got soft.

 

She sat up, rubbing her eyes, “Dad?” Her mind began to catch up with her surroundings. Gwen realized this was the first time she had had any real interaction with her dad since she had saved him. She rolled out of bed, “I’m sorry.” She halted her steps. George closed the distance between him and his daughter and pulled her in a tight hug. It caught Gwen off for sure, but it didn’t take long for her melt into his embrace, “It’s good to be home,” she chuckled into his shoulder.

 

George pulled away, but kept his hands on her, “Gwen, where have you been?” he repeated, eyes gentle, “And what happened to you hair?”

 

Gwen shook her head with a chuckle, “You won’t believe me.”

 

George’s eyes scanned Gwen and it was then that she realized she was still in her Spider-Woman costume. She blushed. Her father shrugged with a smile, “Try me.”

 

She sighed, pulling away from her dad as she backed up to sit on the edge of her bed, “You should probably sit down for this. It’s kind of a long story…”

 

* * *

Gwen and her dad had spent all morning together as Gwen told him about where she had spent the past couple of days. He seemed skeptical at first which Gwen definitely didn’t blame him for, but the deeper she got into her recollection the more understanding George became. He had questions of course and Gwen enthusiastically shared, tired of having to keep this secret to herself. She told him about Peter. Her Peter. Gwen obviously blamed herself, something George noticed, but it was also clear to him that Spider-Woman wasn’t a murderer. That his daughter wasn’t a murderer.

 

When Gwen brought up George being in charge of the investigation against her he told her not to worry. Gwen raised an eyebrow, but dropped the subject, which in turn ended their whole conversation. George pulled his daughter into a tight hug which Gwen melted into, exhausted and relieved.

 

After the events of the morning with her father, Gwen decided she would visit May. She hadn’t seen the woman since the funeral. Well, she hadn’t seen  _ her  _ May since the funeral. But to see the May in Miles’s universe also dealing with the loss of her nephew…

 

It was weird to be back at May’s house. It was the same in Gwen’s universe as it had been in Miles’s except, you know, not completely destroyed by the bad guys. But weird because she wasn’t there to see her best friend. She rang the doorbell, slowly stepping back down May’s first porch step. Her hands were shoved into her jacket pockets. Her jacket was zipped all the way up hiding her Spider-Woman costume, a backpack slung over her right shoulder. Gwen heard a muffled, “Just a second!” from the other side of the door. A few seconds later it opened, May Parker on the other side. 

 

May’s eyes lit up when they saw Gwen and she rushed forward to envelop Gwen into a warm hug. Gwen heard a sniffle when she returned it, “I’m so happy you’re here, Gwen.”

 

“Me too,” Gwen said into May’s shoulder. May was quick to react after that, pulling out of the hug to grab Gwen’s hand to pull her inside. 

 

She ushered Gwen to the couch, “How about some hot chocolate?” she asked, waiting for Gwen’s nod of approval before scurrying into the kitchen to make it. Gwen shrugged her bag off of her shoulder and placed it down on the floor in front of her just May called out from the kitchen, “Your dad called me a couple days ago asking if I had seen you.” May was silent until she brought Gwen her drink. She placed it down on a coaster on the table, “You had me worried,” May finished as she sat in the chair across from Gwen.

 

“Sorry. I just… I was a little lost is all,” Gwen began to explain, trying to find the best way to continue, “I… had to get away for awhile.”

 

May didn’t push for details, but she did ask one more question, “Are you okay, Gwen? Are you safe?”

 

A few days ago Gwen wouldn’t have answered that question honestly, but the events of the past couple of days were impactful enough to change her mind. Gwen wasn’t alone anymore. And though she would probably never get over her Peter’s death, it was comforting to know that there were universes where Peter was still alive and happy (with Mary Jane?). Gwen quickly rid her head of those thoughts and focused back on May, “I am,” Gwen responded, confident in her answer.

 

May nodded, a smile on her wide on her face, “I’m glad.”

 

* * *

 

Gwen spent around another hour with May. They hugged their goodbyes and May made Gwen promise she would visit more often. Gwen gladly agreed. She gave one last wave and thanked May for the hot coco before she descended the porch stairs, unzipping her bag to pull out her Spider-Woman mask. She shouldered her bag once again and started to take off in a run.

 

“Gwendolyne!”

 

At hearing her name, Gwen flinched and halted her steps. There was only one person in her life who regularly used her full name and the last time she had interacted with that person they were not happy with her. Gwen turned, shoving her mask into her jacket pocket, to Mary Jane Watson who was standing just outside her aunt’s garage, her eyebrows furrowed and her arms crossed. Seeing Em Jay again was rather jarring. She was so different from the Mary Jane in Miles’s universe, or even from the one she had heard about in Peter’s. She had been taken aback in Miles’s universe upon finding out that his Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson were married. Gwen had tried to imagine her Peter and Em Jay dating. It made her laugh.

 

“Where have you been?!” Em Jay shouted, bringing Gwen out of her thoughts. She flinched as Mary Jane started marching towards her.

 

Gwen scratched the back of her neck, already uncomfortable, “Uh… you know, it’s kind of a long story.” She was tired of saying that. She did her best to ignore the bewildered look on Em Jay’s face, “I probably shouldn’t get into it…”

 

That was definitely the wrong answer, “Are you kidding me? I don’t see you for weeks, rightfully so,” Gwen flinched again at the reminder of how she royally screwed up, “but then your dad called me and the rest of the band  _ two _ days ago to ask if you were with any of us because he hadn’t seen you either? And suddenly you’re just here with no explanation? Like, what the hell, Gwen?! You can’t do that to us! Not after Peter…” she trailed off, seemingly to collect her thoughts. Em Jay got quiet, “You can’t do that to me.”

 

Gwen felt like she had been slapped. Actually, she wished Mary Jane would have just slapped her instead. It would have at least hurt less, “Em Jay…” Gwen’s mouth stayed open as she searched for something to say,  _ “Just tell her!”  _ she yelled at herself,  _ “She deserves an explanation!”  _

 

“I’m sorry,” Gwen said instead. Mary Jane scoffed and Gwen kicked herself as she tried to come up with an explanation to her absence, “I went and visited some friends,” she blurted, “who live… kind of far away. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, it was just sort of last minute and I had to get away and clear my head for a bit… I didn’t mean to worry you. I just didn’t think you would after everything…”

 

“Of course I worry about you!” Em Jay said, “You’re my best friend!” Gwen smiled. She couldn’t help herself. Em Jay huffed when she noticed the grin, “Shut up..”

 

Gwen stepped back from her best friend, pulling her arms out of her jacket pocket to raise them in the air, “Look,” she said and rotated her body, “I am a-ok. Nothing to worry about here.” 

 

Em Jay muffled a chuckle and shook her head as Gwen planted herself back in front of her. The redhead scanned her just to be sure Gwen was telling the truth. She suddenly squinted her eyes as they zeroed in on something to Gwen’s right, “Oh my god, what happened to your hair?”

 

“Oh, right,” Gwen said, fiddling with her cut hair. Telling the truth would only cause more questions, “just felt like I needed a little change…”

 

Em Jay studied her for a second, long enough for Gwen to think maybe she hadn’t bought her story. Em Jay smirked, “I like it.”

 

Gwen was a little taken aback, “You do?”

 

“Yeah,” Em Jay responded stepping forward. She reached out, her hand playing with her friend’s hair. She was really close, Gwen noted, a blush starting on her face. The smile was still on Em Jay’s face as she averted her eyes back to Gwen’s, “It’s hot. Very punk rock.”

 

Gwen didn’t get the chance to process what Em Jay had said before her friend pulled her in for a tighter hug, her head buried into Gwen’s shoulder, “I miss you,” she said. Gwen nodded, though she didn’t feel as if she deserved Em Jay’s friendship. Gwen couldn’t hold up her part of the friendship bargain and Em Jay knew that. Why was she being so nice?

 

Em Jay shifted though she didn’t pull away, “What’s going on in that big brain of yours?” she asked. Gwen could hear her smile.

 

Gwen shook her head, “Nothing.”

 

“I bet,” Mary Jane laughed pulling away. She started on her way back towards her aunt’s house, “I’ll see you at band practice tomorrow.” It wasn’t a question and the look on Em Jay’s face told Gwen that she should better listen to her. With a look over Em Jay’s shoulder Gwen realized that her drumset was still in the corner of the garage, meaning that the girls had transported them back from the venue anyways. 

 

“Oh and by the way,” Gwen was still rooted in place when Em Jay turned back to her, “you’re cute when you blush!” 

 

With that Em Jay went inside leaving Gwen stunned from the end of May Parker’s drive way, “What just happened?” she asked herself, breathless.

 

* * *

Betty and Glory didn’t seem entirely happy to see Gwen when she showed up to band practice the next day. She was reluctant to attend as she didn’t feel she deserved this second chance from Em Jay, AKA the person she had hurt the most through all of this, but felt she’d be letting her down if she was a no show. Again. 

 

Glory looked to Em Jay when Gwen walked into the garage to gauge her reaction, but was surprised when Em Jay rushed forward to hug the drummer. Betty shrugged at the interaction. When Gwen pulled away from Em Jay to greet the other girls Betty returned a small wave while Glory crossed her arms, clearly annoyed by Gwen’s presence. She turned to Em Jay, “What’s she doing here?” 

 

“I asked her to come back,” Em Jay responded, her eyes still on Gwen.

 

“So she could ruin this for us all over again?” Glory asked.

 

Em Jay frowned, “She won’t,” her face was stony when Gwen made eye contact with her, “Right?”

 

Gwen gulped, the weight of Em Jay’s seriousness sinking in. She nodded, “Y-yeah. Yep. Uh-huh. No more ruining from me.” 

 

_ “Shut up!”  _ she told herself,  _ “How can you even promise that?”  _

 

Gwen was suddenly brought back to the moment the Spiders told Miles he wasn’t ready to fight Kingpin. She smiled at the memory know knowing just how wrong they were. Peter’s words to Miles echoed in her head, “ _ It’s a leap of faith, kid.”  _

 

Gwen turned to Glory, her eyes hard, “I won’t ruin this again.” Glory raised an eyebrow. Her arms were still crossed but didn’t pry anymore and Betty seemed rather impressed with how serious Gwen sounded. Gwen caught Em Jay’s proud smile out of the corner of her eye and decided that was the only reaction that mattered to her. Gwen realized she would do anything to see Mary Jane Watson’s smile.

 

Em Jay ushered Gwen to her drumset and plopped down into her chair, reaching for her drumsticks. Em Jay beat her to it and motioned for Gwen to take them out of her hand. Gwen looked at her amused as she went to take them from her friend, “Em Jay wha-?” 

 

Em Jay resisted Gwen’s pull and in making confused eye contact Gwen almost flinched at Em Jay’s gaze. It was then that Gwen realized that Em Jay’s trust in her wasn’t totally restored. Of course it wasn’t, there was no reason for Em Jay to trust Gwen at all, but Gwen was prepared to fight for it. She wanted Em Jay to know that. Gwen did her best to convey her seriousness in the nod she gave her friend. It must have been enough because Em Jay let go of the drumsticks with a nod of her own as if to say,  _ “Good.” _

 

The interaction didn’t go unnoticed by Betty and Glory. Em Jay backed away to take her spot at her microphone. Betty spoke up as she tuned her guitar, “At least you’re okay,” she started, not glancing up from what she was doing, “We thought maybe you got offed by the Ghost Spider.”

 

Em Jay flinched and turned to face her band mate, “Betty!”

 

“Ghost Spider?” Gwen asked.

 

Glory was the one who answered. She was leaning against her keyboard, her hands gripping either side, “Spider-Woman. It’s what the police are calling her now.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Em Jay looked at Gwen, worried, “It’s just that after… you know. We weren’t sure…” she trailed off and shook her head after a quick pause, her tone shifting, “I mean, there hasn’t been any sightings of her in a few days anyways so maybe she’s gone.”

 

_ “Well she’s wanted for the murder of her best friend and she did get stuck in an alternate dimension for a few days. Oh and  _ she  _ is _ me _ , by the way...”  _ Was what Gwen wanted to say. Instead she said, “Yeah… maybe she is.” Em Jay was watching her, worried that maybe they had crossed a line. Gwen sent her a small smile to reassure her that they hadn’t.

 

Glory was the one to break them from their conversation. She pushed back from her keyboard, “So are we practicing or not?”

 

“Well, duh!” Em Jay responded playfully, immediately breaking the tension, “Let’s start with ‘Face it, Tiger’ _ ,  _ yeah?” 

 

Gwen didn’t need to be told twice. She raised her drumsticks above her head and counted them off.

 

* * *

Band practice only lasted an hour. They were shaky, trying to find their footing since Gwen had been absent for so long. Betty had slipped the fact that they had auditioned other drummers since they didn’t think Gwen would be joining them again. Gwen didn’t mind that fact.

 

Gwen and Em Jay were saying their goodbyes, Betty and Glory having already left. Gwen was helping Em Jay clear up the garage. Gwen had just placed an amp down against the wall when she turned to her friend who was wrapping up auxiliary cords, “They didn’t seem very happy to see me,” Gwen said, though her tone was playful.

 

Em Jay smiled, “To be fair, I wasn’t happy to see you either.”

 

“Nice try,” Gwen laughed, “but you were  _ totally  _ happy to see me.”

 

“Was not!” Em Jay exclaimed though she was laughing along with her friend. 

 

Gwen shook her head, eyeing Em Jay, “If you say so,” she shrugged. It was nice to be back in this place with Em Jay after everything. Gwen was going to make it up to her. She dusted her hands off on her jeans then pulled her phone out of her pocket. She noticed she had missed a text from her dad and quickly sent a message back to let him know she’d be home soon. 

 

Before she put her phone back she smiled at the photo she had made her lockscreen: the one of her and Miles with Peter in the background laying across the bus seat.

 

“I should get going,” Gwen said, “I don’t want my dad to worry after I just got back from up ghosting everyone.”

 

Em Jay nodded and leaned in for a hug, “Well don’t disappear again, yeah?”

 

Gwen nodded as she started backing out of the garage, “See you later.” 

 

“Tomorrow?” Em Jay offered.

 

“Tomorrow,” Gwen agreed with a chuckle. She turned to make her way down the driveway. It didn’t take long of her walking down the street, trying to find a good place to change into her costume, that she ran into Glory. She was standing on the street corner, leaning against a stop sign. Gwen waved as she approached, “Hey, you okay?” 

 

“I wanted to talk to you,” Glory responded.

 

Gwen was taken aback, “Okay?”

 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be back in the band,” she stated to the point. 

 

It didn’t surprise Gwen. She scoffed, “Yeah me either, but I don’t want to let Em Jay down.”

 

“You already have, Gwen!” she snapped, “And you will again!”

 

_ “She’s probably right.” _

 

Glory wasn’t done, “Do you know how disappointed she was when you were a no show to the concert? She was destroyed! And I was the one who was left to pick up the pieces. Of your fuck up!”

 

“I know,” Gwen said quietly. Everything Glory was saying was true and she hated herself for it. She was trying. She just wished that was enough.

 

“I don’t think you do. Because here you are. You’re back and Em Jay is falling for your bullshit again,” she shook her head, exasperated.

 

Gwen took an angry step forward, “Hey, it’s not like that! I screwed up! It’s on me, don’t bring her into this!” 

 

Glory furrowed her eyebrows, “You don’t deserve her. And I’m not going to let you ruin this for her. Again.” With that Glory turned and marched away, concluding the end of their conversation if it could even be considered that.

 

Gwen frowned with a sigh, rubbing the back of her neck as she watched Glory go. She pulled her phone out to send a quick text to her dad,  _ “gotta clear my head. see you tonight. i’ll be safe.” _

 

* * *

“Em Jay,” Gwen said with a laugh, “where are you taking me?” Em Jay was pulling Gwen along down the city streets, the bustling nightlife around them. The redhead was dressed in tight leather pants which gave Gwen a bit of an inkling at least, but Em Jay was excited to surprise her and Gwen didn’t want to burst her bubble. Em Jay halted in front of a sleek grey building, white lights illuminating the name. There was a line out the door a little way down the sidewalk, causing Gwen to look to the a-frame chalkboard on the sidewalk advertising the band that was playing that night, “The Black Cats?” Gwen was intrigued.

 

Em Jay smirked, but didn’t elaborate right away. Instead she grabbed ahold of Gwen’s hand and pulled her to the back of the line. Gwen nodded in the direction of the door, “Who are these guys?” 

 

Em Jay was buzzing, “Felicia Hardy’s band.”

 

Gwen raised an eyebrow which Em Jay took as an invitation to continue, though Gwen didn’t mind,  _ “Why is that name so familiar?”  _ she thought to herself.

 

“She started singing on the streets after her dad died to earn some money and it didn’t take long for her start up her career. She’s been interviewed by some local papers and magazines… it’s inspiring isn’t it?” Em Jay finished, wistfully.

 

Gwen smiled at her friends enthusiasm, “Yeah,” she agreed. She could sense there was more to the story if the expression on her friend’s face was any indication, “Okay, I’ll bite… what are you planning?”

 

Em Jay matched her friend’s smile, though her’s was more playful, “I was going to see if she’d be interested in letting The Mary Janes open for her.”

 

“Oh?” 

 

Em Jay nodded, “Well since you bailed on our concert there haven’t been any venues interested in hosting us after the refund mess,” Gwen opened her mouth to interrupt her with an apology, but Em Jay held a hand up to stop her, “so I thought this would be a good way to get back into the scene.” 

 

Gwen couldn’t deny the idea. It was a good one and knowing that she was the reason Em Jay even had to go to these lengths… Gwen squeezed her friends hand, “I’ll make sure she can’t say no.”

 

“Oooh…” Em Jay said, wiggling her shoulders, “Does Gwen Stacy have something up her sleeve?”

Gwen shrugged, “Not really,” she admitted, “but I’m going to do anything I can to make it up to you,” she said suddenly feeling timid, shifting her gaze from her friend to the person in front of her. She missed Em Jay look at her in surprise though it quickly melted into adoration. 

***

Em Jay dragged Gwen to the bar after the concert saying that she had seen Felicia head there after her set had finished. The Black Cats were clearly popular and rightfully so if the crowded club was any indication. Gwen had enjoyed herself as much as she could. The audience was packed in close together though it didn’t stop anyone from dancing along to music. It was definitely uncomfortable for Gwen, something Em Jay noticed rather quickly. She had pulled Gwen to her, leaning over to her ear to yell over the music. She was laughing, “Loosen up a little, yeah?” 

She did. 

 

Walking up to the bar, Gwen was reminded of we she had promised Em Jay. She wasn’t so sure of herself as Em Jay quickly spotted Felicia. It hadn’t too difficult to pick her out of the crowd as she was surrounded by a small group of fans, most of which were men. The musician had an amused smile on her face as she sipped from some sort of a cocktail. Em Jay and Gwen stood behind the group, waiting for their opportunity. 

 

Felicia let her eyes wander, not interested in whatever the person talking to her was saying. She caught a glance of red hair and her eyes zeroed in on the owner. Her smile widened, cat-like, “Mary Jane Watson,” she greeted.

 

The group of fans turned to the girl who currently held Felicia’s attention. Em Jay looked surprised, “You know who I am?” she asked, pointing to herself.

 

Felicia nodded, “I’m a fan.” Em Jay was speechless and reached over to grip Gwen’s arm. Felicia chuckled and leaned forward in her bar chair, studying the two of them. She motioned over her shoulder, “You guys want a drink?”

 

Gwen quickly shook her head, “I’m good,” she squeaked at the same time Em Jay said, “Yes please.”  _ Great _ , Gwen thought as she watched Em Jay pull the sleeve of the flannel she was wearing down over the “X” mark on her hand.

 

Felicia turned around in her seat and beckoned for the bartender. When she was finished ordering, which just consisted of her pointing to her own drink and holding up a “two” she turned back around to face the girls. At this point the group that had been surrounding Felicia dispersed after realizing she had lost interest in them completely, though not before shooting dirty looks and Gwen and Em Jay, “How’d you like the show?” Felicia asked, tilting her head in curiosity.

“It was a lot of fun,” Gwen spoke up, “It was amazing…  _ you’re _ amazing.” Felicia didn’t respond to Gwen’s compliment. Her expression held a question, but she didn’t voice it. Gwen suddenly felt embarrassed, quickly rubbing her hand on her jeans to hold out in front of Felicia, “Gwen Stacy,” she introduced herself. “I’m the drummer for the Mary Janes.”

 

“Ah. So you’re the no show,” Felicia purred.

 

Gwen was definitely embarrassed now. Was she ever going to live that down?

 

“Any relation to Captain Stacy?” Felicia asked. 

 

The question caught Gwen off guard, “Yeah, actually… he's my dad,” she answered slowly, “Wh-?”

 

Felicia interrupted with a laugh, “Sorry,” she apologized, “didn't mean to freak you out.” Suddenly, her face hardened, “You're dad was the lead detective on my father’s murder,” she finished, handing one of the drinks over to Em Jay that had just arrived. Em Jay immediately took a sip, looking between Gwen and Felicia.

 

“Oh.” Gwen wasn't quite sure how to respond, “Sorry, I-”

 

Felicia cut her off again with a wave of her hand this time, “Nothing ever came of it,” she said quietly, “It made me stronger in the long run,” She swirled her drink and smiled over the rim of the glass, the tension broken.

 

Em Jay nudged Gwen, which she assumed was her signal to change the subject though she wasn’t sure how to go about it. At her silence Em Jay took another sip of her drink, “We actually wanted to ask a favor of you,” she said.

 

“Oh,” Felicia was intrigued. She crossed her legs and leaned forward, raising a perfect eyebrow, “and what’s that?”

 

“Would you be interested in letting the Mary Janes open for you?” Em Jay asked, straight to the point. 

 

Felicia laughed, something neither of them were expecting. She fell back into the bar and propped her elbows on the bar top. Felicia noticed her two companions were looking at her confusion clear on their faces. Their expressions sobered her up, “You’re serious?” When neither Gwen nor Em Jay responded Felicia continued, “After what you pulled?” she said, gesturing to Gwen.

 

Gwen curled into herself. Of course this was her fault. She was disappointing Em Jay again.

At noticing the girls deflate, Felicia sighed, “Look, I’m sorry, but this is my whole world,” she motioned to her surroundings, “I can’t have someone else messing that up.”

 

Em Jay’s grip on Gwen’s arm loosened, “We understand.” She stepped to the bar next to Felicia to place her empty glass on the counter top, “Thanks for the drink. And for talking with us.” At that Em Jay began to turn away.

 

Gwen wasn’t going to be the reason for Em Jay’s disappointment again. She had made a promise and she was sick of breaking promises, “Felicia Hardy,” she said. Felicia raised an eyebrow, “Yeah, I knew that name was familiar. You’re dad was Walter Hardy. The infamous cat burglar…” 

 

Felicia furrowed her brows. Em Jay stopped in her tracks and turned back around. She shot Gwen a look of confusion. Gwen shrugged, “My dad talks. Sometimes. And this one bothered him, I could tell. He never told me why, but… I can get you information.”

 

Felicia’s eyebrows shot up and Gwen knew she had her. She quickly covered up her surprise, “How?” she asked.

 

“I can get access,” Gwen stated and left it at that. No reason to share all her secrets, “Trust me,” she added when she noticed Felicia’s skeptical look.

 

Felicia crossed her arms, “And in return you want to open for me.” It wasn’t a question. She paused and eyed Gwen, weighing her options. Gwen held her gaze. Felicia came to her conclusion rather quickly. She laughed, “Okay. You’ve got yourself a deal, No-Show,” she decided, holding a hand out for Gwen to shake. Gwen returned it. When she pulled back, Felicia’s card was in her hand, “Call me, yeah?”

 

Gwen nodded, her mouth dry. Felicia turned around to face the bar to order another drink signaling the end of their conversation. Gwen grabbed ahold of Em Jay’s hand and pulled her through what was left of the crowd to the sidewalk outside. 

 

Once they exited the club Em Jay immediately pulled out of her friends grasp. She playfully shoved Gwen, who stumbled a bit having not expected it, “Gwen Stacy!” she exclaimed, catching the attention of lingering bar goers. Em Jay followed Gwen’s stumble to pull her into her arms. She planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek, “You’re the best!”

 

Gwen blushed though the thought of what she had promised Felicia was weighing heavy on her conscious.

 

* * *

So what Gwen did wasn’t entirely legal. Actually it wasn’t even a little bit legal. Though what did she have to lose she was already a wanted criminal, which is why she figured it would be safer to avoid sneaking in as Ghost Spider.

 

Sneaking in as Gwen Stacy, daughter of the police captain, would be less suspicious anyways. And if breaking a couple laws was what it took to make Em Jay happy, well then, Gwen would do it over and over again.

 

All that mattered was that when Gwen handed the files over to Felicia she was feeling grateful enough to agree to let the Mary Jane’s open for her at her next concert. Which was a few days away, “See you Friday night for rehearsal,” Felicia had told her as Gwen handed her the file folder. They had decided to meet up at that same bar from the other day. As Gwen turned to leave Felicia called out “Hey, Gwen. Thanks for this,” she said with a shake of the file, “This means lot.” Gwen nodded in acknowledgement trying her best to not feel lousy about the whole situation.

 

* * *

Gwen had broke the news to Em Jay the night she dropped the files off to Felicia. She’d gone back to her friend’s house to hang out, like they had before Gwen messed everything up. Gwen didn’t tell her right away. She waited until Em Jay got back from a bathroom break. She sat down next to Gwen, who was sprawled out on Em Jay’s bed. Before Em Jay could settle Gwen broke the news, “We have rehearsal with Felicia on Friday,” she said to the ceiling.

 

Em Jay looked stunned for a second, “You didn’t.” Gwen turned her head to look at her friend, face blank. That was apparently enough of a response Em Jay because she threw herself on top of her friend with a squeal, “You totally did!”

 

“Okay,” Gwen groaned out, “I’m glad you’re happy.”

 

Em Jay rolled off of Gwen, but laid down next to her on her side. She kept her eyes on Gwen, her smile wide. Gwen turned to her at her friend’s silence. She raised a brow, “What?” she asked with a chuckle.

 

“You really are amazing,” she responded, snuggling into Gwen’s shoulder. 

 

Oh boy, Gwen was suddenly very warm. She stayed still, too afraid to move, “I don’t know about that,” Gwen said, voice soft. 

 

She felt Em Jay shift and suddenly Gwen could feel her breath on her cheek. Gwen definitely wasn’t going to move now, “Stop it. You are,” she leaned forward an inch and planted a soft kiss on Gwen’s cheek, “Take it from me.  _ I _ know what it means to be amazing.”

 

Gwen let out an exasperated laugh, “You just ruined the moment.” At Em Jay’s pout, Gwen rolled her eyes, “But I guess you’re pretty amazing too.”

 

Em Jay raised her eyebrows, “You _ guess? _ ” she laughed, sitting up.

 

Gwen shrugged with a smirk. Em Jay playfully smacked her on her arm before leaning back into her previous position. Head on Gwen’s shoulder and all, though this time she chose to throw an arm across Gwen’s middle. They laid there in a comfortable silence, “ _ Tell her, Gwen. Tell her why you missed a bunch of our band practices. Just tell her. If anyone would understand, it’d be Em Jay… most likely… maybe. _ ”

 

Gwen stayed silent as her friend slowly dozed off to sleep.

 

* * *

So rehearsal hadn’t been the greatest which wasn’t a huge surprise. Glory was angry that Em Jay and Gwen had kept her in the dark about their plan to open for the Black Cats, but by the end of practice she seemed to have gotten over it. At least a little bit. Betty didn’t seem to have an opinion either way, though if she did she didn’t voice it.

 

Em Jay was very excited about their situation, that was clear, and Gwen couldn’t hide her amusement.

 

Felicia watched them as they practiced. Sort of. She was busy looking through those files Gwen had given her. Gwen wished that Felicia would have been a little more discrete with them.

 

After about two hours of that, Felicia closed the folder. She uncrossed her legs and stood up, slowly clapping for the band, “Good work. I’ll see you girls tomorrow. I’ve got some invitations to send,” she said with a wink, leaving them on the stage. The girls exchanged looks, confused by Felicia’s dismissal. 

 

Em Jay turned to Gwen, a brow raised. Gwen shrugged and stood from her drum stool. She picked up her bag from the floor next to her, shoving her drumsticks into one of the pockets. She felt her phone buzz and she pulled it out of her jeans. It was a message from her dad,  _ “Vulture’s on the loose.”  _ Gwen quickly shoved her phone back into her pocket and fumbled with her bag, “I gotta head out,” she told the rest of them.

 

Em Jay looked up from what she was doing, wrapping up an auxiliary cord, “Give me a sec and I’ll walk with you,” she responded, quickening her pace.

“No!” Gwen panicked. Em Jay recoiled, clearly hurt, “I mean… thanks! It’s a message from my dad. I just really got get going!” Gwen was already headed to the exit, “Sorry! I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

 

* * *

Gwen made sure to arrive extra early to the gig hoping that it was enough to show the others how sorry she was about the last time. She was the first one there so she didn’t really have much of choice but to pace the whole backstage while she waited for the others. Gwen spun when she felt someone behind her. Em Jay stood, one hand propped on her hip, the other holding her bag which she quickly discarded tossing it onto the couch next to her. And there were those leather pants again.

 

“Look who decided to show up this time,” Em Jay said with a smirk.

 

Gwen blushed and pushed her hands into her jean pockets, “Were you doubting me?”

 

Em Jay shrugged and began to move closer to her friend, “Maybe just a teeny bit,” she said making the motion with her fingers, “but here you are.” When she reached Gwen she grabbed for her hand and spun her around, letting out a low whistle. Gwen laughed.

 

Gwen froze when she realized how close she and Em Jay were, though mostly because Em Jay had taken hold of the front of the flannel tied around Gwen’s waist. Gwen gulped as she watched her friend fiddle with the knot. 

 

“Thanks for doing this, Gwen,” Em Jay finally said quietly. 

 

Gwen cleared her throat, “It’s the least I can do,” she told Em Jay with a small smile,  “for screwing everything up.”

 

Em Jay shook her head, dismissing Gwen’s statement, “Well, it means a lot to me. To us, I guess,” she added quietly with a small chuckle.

 

“Hey.” Gwen gently placed her hands on top of her friends and craned her neck to try and meet Em Jay’s eyes, “I didn’t do it for them.” 

 

Gwen resisted the urge to pat herself on the back when she saw the blush on Em Jay’s face, though the swell of pride she felt quickly disappeared when she felt a tug at her waist and could suddenly feel Em Jay’s breath on her face. Gwen stayed completely frozen in place, but she felt her eyes flutter shut before she felt the ghost of Em Jay’s lips against her own.

 

“Are we interrupting something?” 

 

Gwen quickly jumped back, startled. Em Jay let go of Gwen’s flannel, turning around to face the rest of their bandmates. Gwen squeaked out a, “No!” at the same time Em Jay said, “Maybe,” her hands returning to her hips. She shot Gwen a smile.

 

Glory stood there arms crossed, clearly annoyed at what she had walked into. Betty stood behind looking more amused than anything, a smirk on her face.

 

Before anyone could say anything else, Felicia sauntered in, a tall red headed man on her arm. He was dressed nicely in a suit and was wearing dark glasses on his face, a cane held in his other hand, “Glad to see you’re  _ all _ here,” Felicia greeted, making a point to look in Gwen’s direction. Gwen barely noticed.

 

Felicia motioned to the man next to her, “I thought I’d introduce our VIP of the night. This is Matthew Murdock. He’s a lawyer here in the city.” He waved while Gwen tried her best to remember where she’d heard that name before. Felicia didn’t give her a lot of time, “Doors open in an hour, so you girls better get to practicing,” she said, motioning to their untouched instruments, “You better not let me down,” she warned, though it seemed playful. Before anyone could respond, her and Matthew were gone.

 

“You heard her,” Em Jay said, “We better get to it.” She made sure to brush against Gwen as she passed. The contact jolted Gwen out of her stupor and she made her way to her drum stool, plopping down into it. She almost didn’t notice the smile aimed her way.

 

* * *

The concert had started off smoothly though that only lasted to the point immediately following the end of the Mary Jane’s performance. It had all happened so fast. As soon as Felicia had walked on stage to thank the Mary Jane’s all hell broke loose.

 

Suddenly a group of people were on the stage, all dressed in black from head to toe. That didn’t seem like normal protocol to Gwen, especially after Matthew Murdock joined them on the stage as well.

 

The whole spectacle seemed like enough of a distraction for everyone, so Gwen quickly took off backstage to change into her costume and returned in time to see Felicia take a swing at Murdock. He dodged it, which came as a bit of a surprise to Gwen seeing as though he was blind. 

 

Gwen heard Murdock say something about Felicia’s father, which clearly angered the girl as she cocked an arm back to try and hit him again, but Gwen was quicker this time. She webbed Felicia’s arm, causing both Felicia and Murdock to look her way, noticing her for the first time. Felicia growled, “Let me go!” she shouted, straining against Gwen’s webbing, “He killed my father!” 

 

_ “Wait, wha-?” _ Gwen didn’t have much time to think about that new information because Felicia had turned around and used the force from Gwen’s webbing to propel herself forward at Gwen, her attack suddenly aimed at the Ghost Spider. Gwen quickly side stepped and delivered a blow to the back of Felicia’s neck, knocking her out.  

 

Gwen’s attention was caught by Murdock’s claps, “Nicely done,” he complimented. He continued, trying to recruit her, though Gwen mostly tuned him out before turning down his offer. He didn’t waste time before sending his ninja people after her. There were too many of them to hold off on her own so after taking care of a few of them she made her break. Gwen found herself outside the venue, where all of the audience had evacuated. It wasn’t hard to find the head of fiery red hair in the crowd, except that’s exactly who she wanted to avoid.

 

Which of course is not what happened.

 

“Hey!” Em Jay yelled. She sounded panicked, “My friend is still in there!”

 

Okay so she hadn’t totally thought this situation through, but if she could just get out of sight to change back into her civilian clothing... Em Jay seemed to have different plans, “Hey!” she continued shouting, following Gwen through the crowd. Em Jay pulled away from Glory when Gwen took off, slinging out of the hoard of people.

 

Gwen took a deep breath of relief when she thought Em Jay had given up. She clearly shouldn’t have jumped to that conclusion, because there she was marching towards her, “My friend is still in there, you asshole!” 

 

Gwen held up her hands in surrender, “Hey,” she quickly cleared her voice figuring Em Jay would probably recognize it. She tried to disguise it, “listen, I’m sure your friend got out just fine. There weren’t any civilians left.”

 

Em Jay shook her head angrily, “No way!” she crossed her arms, “Why should I expect anything from you anyways, you’re a criminal!”

 

“Hey now,” Gwen started.

 

“No!” Em Jay cut her off, “You don’t get to explain yourself. You’ve already killed one of my friends, you’re not going to be the reason another one of my friends die!” That one hurt, “I’ll find her myself,” she grumbled, turning around. She began to storm off. Gwen didn’t doubt Em Jay would get herself in trouble. She had to fix this.

 

“Wait a second!” she called. Em Jay ignored her. Gwen groaned, knowing there was only way one she’d get Em Jay to calm down. Gwen shot a web out, attaching it to Em Jay’s waist. Em Jay didn’t get a chance to react as Gwen quickly snapped her wrist, causing Em Jay to fall into her arms.

 

“Let go of me!” Em Jay struggled.

 

Gwen tried to control her, dodging a few throws of her fists, “I’m not going to hurt you!” Gwen said, not bothering to change her voice anymore. Em Jay seemed too panicked to notice. Gwen wanting to be gentle with Em Jay proved to be a bit of a mistake once Em Jay got a shot it, hitting Gwen square in the jaw. Gwen hissed in pain and Em Jay jumped back, shocked at herself.

 

Gwen couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the whole situation, though she was still rubbing her jaw, “Damn, Em Jay, you really got me good,” she groaned.

 

There was a beat of silence and it all suddenly seemed to dawn on Em Jay, who was suddenly very pale, “Gwen,” she said, quietly. It wasn’t a question and with a tentative step forward Em Jay reached under Gwen’s hood and pulled off her mask.

 

Gwen wasn’t really sure how to react, so she gave Em Jay a small smile, “You got me.”

 

There was another beat before Em Jay continued her onslaught of fists. This time Gwen let them land, “How  _ dare _ you, Gwen Stacy! You had me so worried and this whole time… you could have been getting yourself killed!” Em Jay suddenly flinched like she’d been stung, “You  _ killed _ Peter.”

 

Gwen furiously shook her head, “No, Mary Jane, that’s not how it happened. Peter was my _ best friend.  _ I didn’t mean for anything to happen to him… I was just too late to save him.”

 

The sadness that crept up into Gwen’s voice seemed to be enough to convince Em Jay of her innocence. For now, “So this explains all of your unexplained absences,” she said.

 

Gwen shrugged, “Surprise,” she said with mock excitement.

 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Em Jay asked, defeated, stepping closer to her friend.

 

Gwen sighed, “I was afraid of what you would think of me. Because I care about you. A lot. And the last thing any of us need is for you to be in danger… I can’t lose you too.” Gwen didn’t have much of warning before Em Jay surged forward for a kiss, her hands gripping Gwen’s sore jaw. She ignored the pain, though it wasn't hard. 

 

Gwen was in a bit of a daze when Em Jay pulled away. Her eyes were still closed when she asked, “You're not afraid of heights are you?” 

 

Em Jay raised an eyebrow, caught off guard by the question, “No?”

 

Gwen grabbed ahold of Em Jay’s waist and webbed the building closest building, shooting them to the top of it. Em Jay let out a heavy, shaky breath, winded by Gwen’s action. Em Jay smacked Gwen on the arm, annoyed at the lack of warning. Gwen gave her a goofy smile and Em Jay melted, “This is going to take a little bit of getting used to,” she said.

 

Gwen dropped down onto the roof, sitting on the ledge and letting her legs dangle off the side. She held a hand out for Em Jay to hold, motioning for her to follow suit. When Em Jay looked skeptical, taking a nervous glance over the edge, Gwen reassured her, “I’ve got you.”

 

Em Jay grasped Gwen’s hand and carefully sat down next to her maybe-more-than- friend.

 

They enjoyed each other’s company, listening to the late night bustle of the city. They talked a little bit, Gwen mostly explaining the whole her being a criminal situation, as she felt that was probably the most important thing to get out of the way. Em Jay seemed to understand, having leaned in to place a gentle peck on Gwen’s cheek before laying her head down on her shoulder.

 

Gwen let herself think back to Peter and Miles. This was the first time since being back on her own earth that she felt like she was understood. She thought about finding a way to visit them again and wondered about the look on Peter’s face when he found out she and  _ her  _ universe’s Mary Jane Watson were… involved. Gwen couldn’t help but laugh at that thought. Em Jay pulled away from her shoulder, “What’s so funny?”

 

Gwen nudged her, “Just thinking about how there’s multiple universes where you and Peter Parker are a thing.”

 

Em Jay recoiled, “We’re  _ what?”  _ she asked and then quickly shook her head, the rest of the statement beginning to register, “What do you mean  _ multiple universes?”  _

 

Gwen didn’t get the chance to respond, police sirens suddenly ringing out in the distance. She stood up, pulling Em Jay up with her. Gwen motioned somewhere in the direction of the sounds, “Duty calls,” she said, semi-reluctantly, “I’ll explain later, I swear.”

 

Em Jay smiled and handed Gwen her mask that she still had gripped in her hand, “Go get ‘em tiger.” 

 

Gwen returned the smile, grateful before pulling on her mask. She backed off the ledge of the roof, giving a playful salute before she jumped. Em Jay rushed to the ledge just in time to see Gwen save herself with her webbing as she began slinging through the city. She couldn’t keep the goofy smile off of her face as she made her way to the scene of the crime,  _ “Things are starting to look up for your friendly neighborhood Spider-Gwen.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIN
> 
> Thanks for reading! I had a total blast writing this!

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise! This is gonna be a two-shot so look out for the next chapter (hopefully) next week-ish


End file.
